22

Days pass by. Seems like yesterday, I was just a 10 year old girl, playing around with her bicycle, trying so hard to ride the two-wheeler, to be a grown up. Weeks pass by. Seems like yesterday when I was happy turning thirteen, I am not a 12 year old child anymore. I just stepped into adolescence; adulthood is just a few steps away. Months pass by. Here I am, a stubborn 15 year old who passionately believes in all sorts of things, trying to find herself. Years pass by; here am I, a 17 year old who thinks she knows it all. A girl in a constant struggle with whoever tries to control or protect her. Seems like yesterday, when I was an 18 year old being hit by one of life’s harshest experiences; loss. Days pass by. Seems like yesterday when I was a 20 year old girl, facing the world, with all the joys and pains it has to offer, a girl trying to care and trust, and even let go. Months pass by, here I am…22

To Tame A Heart

Sitting by a window
Watching the highway
As the fast lane goes by
And again
I find myself lost In my own thoughts
A life that’s tiring
And I wonder
Again between all the noise
Just trying to find a way
To tame a restless soul
Question after question
They come along
What has gone
And what is left to come
Who’s to know
In the strange road of life
And those eyes still search
For warmth in the distance
And hearts
Still look for happiness
Wherever it may be found
Wild Heart

Daydreaming In The Airport

So many faces I see, as I walk between the crowd. So many stories to be told, within the diversity I find. I try to catch up with my dad who has a faster pace and then I look back at the two smiling faces as I listen to the bickering and whispering. I look around as I take in the smell that’s somewhere between coffee and cigarettes. Again I stare at the crowd and again I wonder what each pair of those eyes hold within. Families sitting together on the floor in different corners here and there. Some who seem to have been there for quite a while and have given up sleeping on the uncomfortable chairs. Couples here and there, holding hands or talking softly. Young solo travelers pass me by. I listen to the murmurs and I hear babies crying, while the little kids never stop chatting and asking their tired looking parents about everything. I look again. Different hairs, eyes, attitudes, clothes, smells, styles and stories to be told. Again I realize how much it makes me wonder

World Of Conflict

Struggling everyday riding on this rollercoaster called life.
Waking up in the morning and trying to make it through the day in a continuous struggle trying to find ourselves in this world.
The conflict between a materialistic society and ambitions within.
The effort to hold on to our own beliefs faced by the pressures of conformity
Trying to fit in somewhere in a cruel world, a place to belong
Accepting people just the way they are, getting past differences
Coping with change, being able to move on
Taking in this global culture, and still maintaining an identity
Fighting for independence behind the walls of overprotection
The courage of following our own way when running with the crowd is much easier
The ability to say what’s on our minds even when all we get are judging stares
finding ourselves when we get lost in the many ideas and thoughts around us
dealing

You Say

You look at me
And you look away
You look into my eyes
And you just smile
Who are you
To smile that way
You say you know me
You say you understand
You are so sure you have me figured
Inside out
when there’s so much
you just don’t know
from the way you get through
I’m forced to believe
You tell me you can’t stand my tears
Still
Over and over
You make me cry

Like Them

I listened to their conversation and for a moment, I just wished I was that naïve. I wished I could say silly things like that. I wish I was able to say whatever’s on my mind without thinking, without being scared of judgment. I wished I knew as little as them. I wished I barely understood. I wished my world was as simple as they saw it, and my most important concern was which ice-cream flavor to choose. I wish I was so carefree that innocence was all what could be seen in my eyes and it was all that was heard in my laughter. Just like them. I wish I was able to run until I was breathless. I wish I was able to play till I had dirt in my hair and I didn’t care. like them.

I May Be 21

I looked at a world around me
Yes I’m young,
Still I’m wounded.
I have learnt
You look at me
And see a beginning of the life
The radiance of youth
A soul so alive
A page still white
Sparks in those glowing eyes
The carefree smile
Still
There’s much more
Who says you’ve got to be forty
For you to realize
That it’s possible
To smile,
With tear filled eyes
That there are weak moments
Between the long times you’ve stood high and proud
Like mountains
That there is a single moment
Between holding on tightly
And letting go
Who says you’ve got to be forty
To know that the same heart
Could love with passion
Yet hate and hate
To find out that two eyes
See the world as heaven today
And get lost
In the same world
When it seems like the darkest place tomorrow
Who says you’ve got to be forty
To learn the secrets of souls
How they could hold so much courage and faith
Then break down so easily
And be driven by the Selfishness life forces
Yet the empathy embedded there
Love that’s God given
Still lies within
How there’s a thin thread
Between care
And indifference
Just like there is
Between emptiness
And fulfillment
How you can be lost in the crowd
Still it doesn’t change the loneliness
That’s within
That all the noise that surrounds you
Cant shake the silence
Sometimes all it takes
Is being 21

Outta This World..as always

Sometimes I feel that I stand on a side
And the rest of the world stands on the other side
like
Today our psychology professor told us that we have to take a paper and pen, and write what we would do if we had the power of being invisible for 24 hours.
The common answers were:
1) I would spy on my BF/GF
2) I would steal/rob a bank
3) I would go to the professor’s office and change my grades/ steal the exam
The professor was all happy coz he found a pattern that proved his theory, every single paper he read had one of those 3 things..suddenly he read a paper and everyone burst out laughing.
It said: “I would go to New York and get lost there”
Yup! It was mine…
Typical..

Should've Known

I’ve been told over and over again
Think, don’t feel
Be tough, it’s a cold world out there
I never get it though
I try,I cant!
Rules they go by don’t satisfy me
I have my own
How come
I always feel, I never think
How come
Knowing where it takes me
I’ve seen a lot
Because of trust
Because of care
You shouldn’t care they say
Watch out for yourself
Can’t listen to that though, can I
Left lonely and broken many times
I should’ve learnt
How come
I never did
How come I end up here every time